I quit for nine months. Three separate times. And every time, what ended it was a night out and a celebratory smoke. Celebratory. I'd banked nine months of evidence and then spent it as a reward for having banked it.

Somebody who loves you has been telling you the same thing for years and it goes right through you. Then a stranger says it once and it lands like a struck bell. That is not a flaw in your marriage. It is how distance works, and once you see it you can stop being surprised by it.

Ever feel like you keep ending up in the same situation, different year? Same job frustration, same relationship dynamic, same stuck feeling? There's a reason for that. And there's a way out of it.