The danger of the seven-year-plus mark is that you are intimately acquainted with the "Maintenance" of your relationship. You know the grit, the compromise, and the hard days. When you compare your Internal Reality to someone else’s External Edit, you are looking through a distorted lens.

Habituation is the status quo of the soul. It’s the habit of "Normal." When your life becomes a predictable loop, your brain goes into power-save mode. It stops recording the details.

To get that "New Car Smell" back, you don't need a new car. You need a Pattern Interrupt. You need to artificially disrupt your vantage point so your brain is forced to "re-load" your reality in high definition.

Have you ever been on a world-class vacation—the kind with white sand and zero responsibilities—and found yourself obsessing over a tiny crack in the bathroom tile or the fact that the coffee wasn't quite hot enough?

Or perhaps you’re in a relationship with a truly "Golden" human being, yet you spent your morning commute dwelling on the one annoying way they chew their toast?

If you feel like a "Negative Nancy" (or Ned), I have good news and bad news. The good news: You aren't a bad person.The bad news: Your brain is actively working against your happiness.

For the high-performer, this is a dangerous trap.  We spend our lives "Engineering the Impossible," but once the impossible becomes our "Normal," we stop seeing the gold.  We don't notice the miracle anymore; we only notice the maintenance.

Jana and I see this in elite circles all the time—AND we have to catch ourselves, too.  We’re not immune to it.

• You prayed for the Big House, but now you’re just annoyed by the Lawn Maintenance.

• You worked for the Promotion, but now you’re just buried by the Email Volume.

• You searched for the Soulmate, but now you’re just frustrated by the Laundry Pile and Dishes.

You aren't actually "unhappy." You’re just asleep to your own success. You’ve habituated to the gold until it started looking like gray pavement.  You’ve turned your "Vortex" into a "Switchboard."