The danger of the seven-year-plus mark is that you are intimately acquainted with the "Maintenance" of your relationship. You know the grit, the compromise, and the hard days. When you compare your Internal Reality to someone else’s External Edit, you are looking through a distorted lens.

“at some point, the Law of Habituation kicked in.

In psychology, habituation is the brain’s efficiency hack. It mutes the signal of anything that is "constant" to save energy for "threats." After seven, ten, or fifteen years, your brain has categorized your spouse as "permanent infrastructure." You’ve stopped seeing the masterpiece and started seeing “safety” and “comfort.”

You’ve moved from Awe to Maintenance. You don’t see the person; you see the "To-Do List" they represent: Did they pick up the milk? Did they move the laundry? Why are they breathing like that?

Most couples we talk to at Living Lucky® don’t have a "bad" marriage. They have a "Good" one. They have the house, the kids, and the retirement account. But "Good" is the sedative that keeps you from the Extraordinary.”

Imagine a time when you had a family "pile-up" on the master bed or around a backyard fire pit when you could BE TOGETHER, smiling, and connected. Now take an objective look at how life might be moving in the moment. Are we busy being busy? Are we more connected to the calendar and the schedule than we are to each other?