The Proximity Effect: How Your Circle Directly Dictates Your Luck
The Proximity Effect: How Your Circle Directly Dictates Your Luck
Somebody knocked on our front door a few days ago, and Jana and I looked at each other like a smoke alarm had gone off.
Who knocks on a door anymore?
It was one of the neighborhood kids, wanting to earn some money washing the outside of our windows. We've said yes to this before, and we appreciated the effort every time. But there's the supervising. And the cleanup. And then going back around behind them to get the streaks out, which is about when I start wondering who's paying whom.
So we said no.
After the door closed, it occurred to me what my first feeling had been. A person walked up to my house and knocked, and I felt interrupted.
When I was a kid, a knock on the door was an event. Somebody's here. Now it's a disturbance to my solitude, which is a phrase I said out loud on our podcast and meant.
I don't love what that says about me.
The Good Stuff
It stuck with me because of where we'd just been.
Jana and I emceed the Good Stuff Awards, which Horizon West Magazine puts on for our community. People around here nominate their neighbors, their local businesses and their organizations, the community votes, and then everybody gets in one room and cheers for each other. Horizon West is the newer part of Winter Garden, Florida, where we live.
We're also in this year's Healthy in Horizon West, the 2026/27 guide. We're on a lot of pages. We're on the back cover.
I like the back cover best. We're not on the front cover, so I had to come up with a reason, and here it is. When somebody's holding the magazine open to read it, the front cover folds back toward them. The back cover faces everybody else in the room.
I've thought about this more than the magazine has.
What I noticed in that room was how much it felt like the opposite of my front door. Everybody there was pouring something into the community, and you could feel it. You walk out of a room like that with more than you walked in with, and you can't always name what it was.
Everything comes to the house now
The morning we recorded, I brought the Amazon boxes in off the porch.
Our groceries get delivered. Our mail doesn't come to the house at all; the carrier drops it at the boxes by the clubhouse. Movies come to the big television in the living room. And when we do go out, to Lowe's or Home Depot or the grocery store, there's a self-checkout line that exists so you don't have to talk to anybody.
Every one of those is a good idea by itself. I'm not giving up the groceries.
But add them up and you've engineered out every conversation you didn't plan. The line was where you'd talk to the person behind you and find out you had the same professor. The aisle was where somebody mentioned a book, and three weeks later you'd read it. You didn't go looking for any of that. It just happened, because there were people around.
| The convenient version | The version with a person in it |
|---|---|
| Groceries delivered to the porch | One trip a week down the actual aisles |
| Self-checkout | The line with a cashier, and the person behind you |
| Streaming it at home | A theater, a concert, a local event |
| Texting from the driveway | Knocking on the door |
| Figuring it out alone | Calling the person who's already done it |
The first question in our Luck Activation Formula is "What do I want to experience?" It points your attention somewhere for the day. But attention needs something to land on, and a day with nobody in it doesn't give it much.
Alaska
For a couple of years, Jana followed an art journaler on YouTube named Teesha Moore. She'd watched a lot of Teesha's work and had never once seen her face.
Then we were in Alaska, and there was a woman sitting with a man, working in a journal. Jana did the thing none of us do anymore. She interrupted a stranger. She told the woman her journal was beautiful, and that it reminded her of an artist she'd followed for years but had never actually seen.
The man asked who the artist was.
Jana said, "Teesha Moore."
He smiled and said, "Well, thank you. Meet Teesha Moore."
They talked for a long time. I was mostly standing there. I'd like the record to show I was present.
Two years of videos never put those two in the same place. One comment to a stranger did it in about ten seconds.
Stuck
Anybody who's growing gets stuck. That part's guaranteed.
Here's what I think stuck usually is. It's rarely a missing resource. It's that you're emotionally tied to something, some belief about how this has to go, and that tie keeps you from seeing what's already sitting right next to you. Somebody standing outside your knot can see it in about five minutes.
I tried to explain that on the podcast, stumbled over the word "perspective," and what came out was "perspucktive” or “being effed in your perspective." Jana told me to write that one down. I'm not sure she meant it as a compliment.
Earlier that same morning I'd also used the word "impromptuitously" with total confidence and authority. Jana says only my wife would've called me on it. She did.
So I'm not always the one who gets to explain perspective. But I've been on the receiving end of it plenty.
I spent two years in Brad Sumrok's year-long mastermind, and I walked in thinking I already knew.
I could afford to be in the room. I had a seat at the Millionaires Breakfast, which is a special breakfast for members of the mastermind and accredited investors and I was already invited to be in the room.
Then I looked around that table and realized I was the grunt in the room. I'd gotten there by scrounging. I'd done it the best way I knew how. So had most of the people sitting there. They just knew a quicker, easier way, the kind that compounds. There was risk in it, but no more risk than I'd already been taking doing it my way. And they were having a lot more fun.
What I learned there, from Brad and just as much from the people at that breakfast, was how to put money to work going out and getting more money. I wasn't going to figure that out at my kitchen table. I didn't know it was there to figure out.
And Jana taught me a lot about options trading, which she learned from her finance coach. So I got something from a coach I've never worked with, secondhand. That's how far proximity reaches.
The second question in the Activation Formula is "How do I want to grow?" In my experience, the fastest answer usually has somebody's name in it.
Fast and alone
There's a saying: if you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.
I argued with it on the podcast, and I'm still arguing with it. You can't put a blanket statement on it, because it depends on the team.
Ask anybody who's stood on top of Everest how many people it took to get them there. Twelve people have walked on the moon, and none of them drove themselves.
The right people don't slow you down. They're the reason you got there at all.
Which brings me back to the kid at the door. The third question in the formula is "How do I want to contribute?" Somebody showed up on my porch offering to contribute, and I sent them home.
I'm still thinking about that one.
Frequently asked questions
How does proximity to people create luck?
Most lucky breaks come through other people: a recommendation, an introduction, a stranger who turns out to know the thing you need. The more unplanned conversations you have, the more chances there are for one of them to turn into something.
Is modern convenience bad for you?
Not by itself. Grocery delivery and self-checkout save real time. The cost is what they remove along the way: the small, unscripted conversations where new ideas and connections used to come from.
What is serendipity, and can you create it?
Serendipity is a good thing you find without looking for it. You can't schedule it, but you can raise the odds by spending more time around people and talking to the ones you'd normally walk past.
Why do I feel stuck even when I know what to do?
Usually because you're emotionally tied to a belief about the situation, and that belief hides the resources already around you. Someone outside the situation doesn't carry the same tie, so they can often see the next step faster.
Is it faster to work alone or with a team?
It depends on the team. The wrong people slow you down. The right people give you a map, spot what you can't see, and get you there faster than you'd have gotten there alone.
How do I start creating more chance encounters?
Pick the human option when it's easy. Use the checkout line with a cashier, go to the local event, and answer the door. Then say one thing to one person you wouldn't normally talk to.
The Living Lucky® Practice
Exercise: For one week, use the line with a person in it. Say one sentence to whoever's there that isn't about the weather.
Reflection question: What convenience have I added in the last year that quietly took a person out of my day?
Journal prompt: Where am I doing it "the best way I know how," and who do I know who might know a better way?
Action: Before your next errand, run the Luck Activation Formula. What do I want to experience at the store? How do I want to grow? How do I want to contribute? How Lucky Am I? Then go find out who's in line.
One-Week Collision Log
One unplanned conversation a day. Write down what came of it, even if it was nothing.
| Day | Where | Who | What came of it |
|---|---|---|---|
| Mon | |||
| Tue | |||
| Wed | |||
| Thu | |||
| Fri | |||
| Sat | |||
| Sun |
We went deeper on this on the Living Lucky® Podcast, Season 11, Episode 39.
We Create Our Luck®.
